Photo.Craft.Books

I was watching a great episode of Oprah this week that featured this preacher from Kansas City. He has started a movement of trying to get people not to complain. You can go to http://acomplaintfreeworld.org/ to get more information. But, basically, you wear a purple bracelet and every time you catch yourself complaining you have to switch it to the other wrist. Since science has determined that it takes 21 days to form a habit, the goal is to wear it on the same wrist for 21 days.

I think this is a fantastic idea. I find I complain about the stupidest things – the weather, traffic, tv, etc. Why am I wasting my breath and thoughts to complain about things over which I have no control? Life is too short and too precious to focus on the negative. That’s what the ultimate goal is with the bracelets – lets embrace what’s good in the world and make more of it.

So, I’ve gone on the website and requested 10 of the bracelets. They are FREE but you are allowed to make a donation if you so choose. The site is really clear about indicating that donations are not mandatory and this whole project isn’t about money – it’s about trying to change the world.

I commend them.

Remember a couple months ago when I mentioned that Always had started printing “Have a Happy Period” on the little adhesive papers on their maxi-pads? Here’s the link to the post from September 13 in case you forgot:

http://turn-another-page.blogspot.com/2006_09_01_archive.html

Well, a friend of mine just sent me an e-mail that contained the following letter. Glad to know I’m not the only one who thought this was goofy:

“Dear Mr. Thatcher, I have been a loyal user of your Always maxi pads for over 20 years, and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the Leak Guard Core(tm) or Dri-Weave(tm) absorbency,I’d probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I’d certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can’t tell you how safe and secureI feel each month knowing there’s a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher?Ever suffered from “the curse”? I’m guessing you haven’t. Well, my “time of the month” is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I’ll be transformed into what my husband likes to call “an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.” Isn’t the human body amazing?

As brand manager in the feminine-hygiene division, you’ve no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers’ monthly visits from Aunt Flo.Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it’s a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend’s testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey’s Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy!

The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants. Which brings me to the reason for my letter.Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: “Have a HappyPeriod.”Are you kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness-actual smiling, laughing happiness-is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you’re some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything “happy” about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlúa and lock yourself in your house just so you don’t march down to the local Walgreens armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.

For the love of God, pull your head out, man. If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad,wouldn’t it make more sense to say something that’s actually pertinent, like “Put Down the Hammer” or”Vehicular Manslaughter Is Wrong”? Or are you just picking on us?

Sir, please inform your accounting department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, forI have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss yourFlexi-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending crap. And that’s a promise I will keep. Always.

Best,
Wendi Aarons
Austin, TX”

Wow – I thought it was a funny thing to print but she really got riled up about it, huh?

Yep, I got up this morning, got ready to go to work, and was sitting there eating breakfast (Peanut Butter Captain Crunch – very grown up of me, huh?) and started looking around my filthy dirty house. It was raining so Hubby couldn’t go outside and mow today so I talked him into staying home with me and cleaning the house. He REALLY didn’t want to do it and I told him I didn’t either but it was gross and dirty and the magic cleaning fairy is apparently on strike so we didn’t have much choice.

We got started about 9:00am and I didn’t finish until after 2:00. Yes – it was THAT dirty. I think Hubby spent over an hour just in the little bathroom. Trust me – it’s little -only has a shower stall, a pedastal sink and a commode. He spent an HOUR cleaning it – that’s how much dirt had collected in there.

Then, he went downstairs into what I refer to as “Man Land” and dissappeared. I knew he was hiding so he didn’t have to work anymore so I let him stay down there about an hour before I came down and busted him. He was sitting at his desk and started laughing when I walked down there. He knew he was busted. He begrudgingly came up and started helping again. He’s like a 7 year old kid sometimes.

Most of our “dirt” is apparently hair from the pets. I think we could have gathered up all the wads of hair under the couch and in the hallway and had a pile as big as our dog! I was seriously thinking about vaccuuming the cat but didn’t think she would hold still for the noisy vaccuuum (remember – this is one of the words I can’t remember how to spell so don’t give me any crap if it’s wrong).

So now, I’m sitting in my hobby room enjoying the smell of Pine-Sol. Yes – I said I’m enjoying it. I want someone to come by so they can come in my house and think to themself, “wow – this house is really clean”. Trust me – there aren’t many opportinuties for that to happen around my house so I want to take advantage of it.

Don’t get me wrong – we aren’t slobs. Our house is almost always picked up and straightened but I don’t dust or run the vaccuum very often. It’s a lot of effort and there are loads of other things I’d rather be doing. If the house is picked up and good enough for someone to come in if they happen to be in the neighborhood, I’m okay with it.

But, after a while, it needs a good rub-down and that’s when everyone gets crabby. If we did a better budget I would hire a housekeeper in a second! But, that would mean I would have to cut back my spending on books and scrapbooking and we need to keep our priorities straight.

I’m currently listening to Josh Groban sing “Oh Holy Night” on i-tunes. I adore this song. This has always been my favorite Christmas song and he sings it wonderfully. I know this doesn’t have anything to do with anything but thought I’d mention it anyway.

I’m terribly sorry for the lack of posting for the past week. I truly have been busy lately and simply no extra time.

Part of the reason I was so busy is that I hosted a lovely baby shower for a dear friend of mine last week. Then, I went out of town for a few days on business and it’s been crazy at work getting caught back up. But – I was able to do some neat crafty things for the shower:

First, I made a “diaper cake” I had never heard of one before but ran across it looking for baby shower ideas. Here’s the one I made:

Considering I was going by a picture I found on the web, I was pretty pleased with the final outcome. I thought it was a great idea for the cost of a box of diapers and some ribbon.

Here are a couple more pics of the shower:

Robin & her daughter, Eiley, with the cake:

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The decorations:

The sign says “Welcome Ian” not “Jan” by the way.

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This was a funny game we played called “Guess the Poo” it was really just different kinds of melted candy bars but they look really gross:

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And probably my favorite picture of the day is Robin’s daughter with the balloons:

Other than that, my house is a HUGE mess and I’d probably need a team of 10 professionally trained housekeepers to come in and do a proper spring cleaning but I’ll probably try to get Hubby and daughter to help me do it this weekend. I’ve put back on 20 of the 24 lbs I lost last year which I’m pissed off about and am getting ready to get it back off. I’m reading a very good book that I won’t mention yet as I’m only half way through and it could turn sucky.

So, that pretty much catches stuff up. I’ll try to be a better blogger from now on, ‘kay?

Woopeee!!! Hooray!! Woo-hooo!! Rob & Amber got kicked off Amazing Race this week. This was their 3rd (or 4th – did they do Survivor twice?) chance at winning a million bucks on a reality show and this time their luck ran out fairly early.

I will say that they do seem very much in love. Rob was sweet when he was talking about how he already had the best prize because she was his wife.

I all fairness, I have to say that they are smart and good players. They were competitive and worked for their edge a lot of the time (like using the internet when they had time to find clues and book flights). However, they NEVER seemed to have bad luck. I don’t remember a single time when they’ve had car trouble, or trouble getting a taxi or running out of gas or getting lost. Whenever they had to search for anything they always seemed to find them quickly.

Well, that all changed this week. They did miserably on a task (because Rob couldn’t spell) so that put them behind, then they got bumped to the last flight and then they couldn’t get a taxi. All stuff that happens to other teams quiet often. They had to search through 1600 letters to find 1 of 2 addressed to them and they took a long time to do that. So, they ended up last at the pitstop. I have to admit that I expected Phil to say, “I’m happy to tell you that this is the first of the non-elimination rounds” but he didn’t – see ya Rob & Amber!!!

It’s no secret that I’m interested in sex – heck I’m a happily married woman of 9 years so I have to be interested in it at least a little bit, right?

In this month’s Marie Claire there is a big article about sex in 2007. They and Esquire did a joint survery of about 1700 people. These were the findings:

* Average number of times people have sex in 1 week: 2.6 for men and 2.3 for women. So, does this mean that .3 percent of the time the men are cheating?

* Partners in a lifetime: 14 for men and 11 for women. Guess men are easier.

* 61% of men surf the net for porn and about half spend an hour or more per week doing it. 17% of women look for porn on the web and only a 3rd of them do it for an hour or more.

* How many times per week do you “self satisfy”? 3.8 for men and 1.6 for women. This one surprised me. Men do this every other day? Really?

* 14% of women have looked at porn on the web at work versus 32% of men. I was very surprised that a third of men would risk their jobs to do this.

* The country with the oldest age at which the average person loses their virginity is India at 19.8. Americans average 16.9.

* Canadians and Americans are tied for first as to whom may have a camera in the bed room.

* Greeks have sex more than any other nation – about 138 times per year on average. Americans rank 11th with 113 and Japanese are the least at a mere 45.

* More women in Taiwan use “battery operated assistants” than any other country. American women tied with UK women for second.

* 12% of men and 7% of women have answered a work call or e-mail during sex. There would be nothing that would piss me off more if he stopped to answer the phone.

* 59% of men and 52% of women with Blackberries, PDA’s or cell phones say these devices have enhanced their sex life. How? This one confused me. Are they on vibrate?

* Men’s #1 turn-on: looks
Women’s: kindness

* The average number of dates a woman waits to sleep with a guy is 5. For men it’s 3. Wow – I had NO IDEA people were jumping in the sack so quickly these days. This one blew me away.

* 35% of men and women have gone without sex for a year. 13% of men and 7% of women have gone without it for 5 or more years. These people have my deepest sympathy.

* Here it is, ladies, we may not want to “face it” (hehe – I crack myself up) but men want more oral sex – it even beat out intercourse by 4 points. Women want more erotic massage. 6% of women wanted more, uh, “backdoor action” versus 32% of men. WOW!

* Here are some stats as to what men and women like:
Receiving Oral – 85% of men and 71% of women (I’d have thought more women)
Giving oral – 66% of men like it versus 43% of men
Threesomes {{shudder}} – 64% of men and 33% of women
Watching partner “pleasure themself” (I just can’t make myself type that other word) – 57% of men like it versus 41% of women
Anal – 54% of men and 19% of women.

* 80% of women say they’re in a monogomous relationship versus 66% of men. I think some couples need to define monogomy.

* 49% of men say it’s conceivable that they might cheat on their partners (or already have) compared with 33% of women. MAN – there are a lot of cheaters out there!

* 61% of women say they’d give up sex for more sleep while 65% of men said they’d give up sleep for sex.

* Favorite position? Women prefer missionary with “doggy-style” a close second. Men prefer doggy style with women on top right behind it.

* The hair down there. This may seem a little “personal” to some people but I was interested so I’ll share:

What men like:
46% trimmed
24% completely bare
22% all-natural

What women really do:
56% trim
29% go natural
11% take it all off

Sex secrets women admitted to:
- “I keep erotic stories on my i-pod and read a few while we’re watching tv in the evening. I have a head start before we get to the bedroom” – Brooke 26. I think this lady is very smart. Especially if you have a partner who likes to rush straight into things and doesn’t spend a lot of time “pre-heating the oven” so to speak.

- My friends would be amazed if they knew the real number of men I’ve slept with. It’s up there.” Kimberly – 28. Sounds like Kimberly gets around to me.

- “I’ve always wanted to do it in a public restroom” – Jaime 27. Yuck!

- “I once had sex with two guys in the same day” – Amy 31. Amy gets around more than Kimberly.

- “There’s nothing hotter than a man with a wedding ring” – Sarah 23. Married women hate littles witches like this.

So – there you have it. A few surprises and definitely an eye-opener for me.

My friend, Erika asked me to go to a craft fair with her yesterday. I had never been to a craft fair like this so it sounded like fun. We went downtown and weren’t real sure what to expect. There were a lot of booths and the two most popular items seemed to be handmade jewelry and purses. I looked at a lot of the jewelry and really liked several pieces but didn’t buy anything. I like fun jewelry but, for some reason, don’t ever wear it. Hubby has bought me several nice pieces of real jewelry so I don’t tend to wear “trendy” stuff. Erika told me if I liked it – I need to wear it, even though I said it was kind of out of character for me. And, the jewelry was kind og expensive. Most of the pieces were a minimum of $30 and went to $100. Erika finally suggested I start with a funky piece or two from Target and if I wear those, I could invest in some more expensive pieces. I really liked several of the purses too but didn’t buy anything for the same reason as the jewelry. I liked them, but they were kind of expensive and really weren’t something I’d carry.

So, after the craft fair we ran to JoAnn’s. I started walking around they have started carrying some really nice beads to make your own jewelry. So, I took the plunmge and bought a some and decided I’d make my own set. Here’s what I came up with:

They’re sort of “chunky” but not too big. It only took me about an hour to make all three pieces and I LOVE them! I wore them to dinner Saturday night and my sister-in-law complimented me on them as soon as she saw them. I was so proud of myself.

Also, while in JoAnn’s, I decided I was going to try to make my own purse as well. I had originally decided to do something fairly simply with a little cute embelishment but my mom was here this weekend and she helped me and the design got more and more complicated. Here’s the finished product:

It has two compartments inside (I made a center piece to use as a divider) and has 3 pockets – one on one side and two on the other of the divider piece. It’s fully lines and has reinforcement between the two fabrics to give it a solid shape. It’s 14″ wide and about 12″ high so I can fit books in it, along with my wallet, i-pod, etc.

I am so very proud of myself!!! My very first purse and jewelry set and they aren’t too shabby if I do say so myself!

These things sort of get on my nerves but I’m really nosy so I do them anyway. This is an all new one that my friend Kelli wrote so I think this is the best:

1. Something in your closet that you’ll never wear but haven’t gotten rid of? My senior sweatshirt. It has all the seniors signatures on it. I know exactly where mine is. I haven’t worn it in 17 years and probably never will but I don’t want to get rid of it.

2. Favorite price is right game? The one where you have to guess the prices of the random grocery store items. My runner up would be the one where you’d play for the car with the giant, oversized cards.

3. One thing you couldn’t live without? Other than my family – books.

4. Your biggest regret? Getting married the first time – ugh! What WAS I thinking?

5. What is your dream job? Having my own scrapbook store but if that didn’t work out I could always be a photographer for National Geographic.

6. Favorite 80s song? Hungry Like a Wolf by Duran Duran!

7. Who was your favorite New Kid on the Block? I wasn’t really ino them

8. Do you know anyone who still has mall bangs? Not personally – but I randomly snicker at them when I see them at Wal-Mart!

9. What is your dream car? Porshe convertible.

10. Do you have a signature scent? Not really. If so, what is it?

11. What celebrity do you think you look most like? I was told growing up that I looked like Goldie Hawn in Private Benjamin – but that was a LONG time ago.

12. What dorky things do you do? Dance when no one can see me, sing in the shower and really loudly in the car by myself.

13. Have you ever peed your pants (as an adult)? Only the little ones when I sneeze. If I ever had to really run hard without having gone to the bathroom first I’m sure I’d wet all over myself.

14. Have you ever had a near death experience? Nope – hope I never do either.

15. Do you prefer a bath or shower? I prefer a bath but feel like I need to wash off in the shower when I’m done soaking in the water so most times I just skip the bath and take a shower.

16. How many days can you go without washing your hair? None – I have to wash my hair every day or I can’t style it. I guess I’m a greasy bohunk.

17. Do you play any instruments? I used to play drums and violin but I haven’t done either in decades.

18. Have you ever not bought something because you didn’t want to go up a size? Absolutely

19. Have you ever got caught picking your nose? I hope not!

20. Have you ever farted on a date or in a meeting out loud? If so, what did you do? It was silent but I did have really stinky gas on the treadmill at the gym one time and hubby was reeling at the smell but he thought it was the guy on the other side of him. I think he switched machines.

21. Have you ever opened your mouth to talk and burped instead? Yes – but I did it on purpose.

22. Are you a good dancer? No.

23. Do you have any hidden talents? Many

24. Do you have any nervous habits? I rub my fingernails on my lips. I don’t know anyone else who does this but me.

25. Do you shave your armpits every day? Yes. But I only shave my legs once a week.

26. What one thing would you change about your body? I’d have my teeth straightened and then whitened.

27. What one thing would you change about your personality? Don’t be a know it all, don’t give unsolicited advicve, don’t interrupt, don’t asnwer questions asked of other people and be a better listener. I’m aware of my faults and am trying to change them.

28. What do you and your siblings have in common? Brests. And we all talk too much.

29. Did you ever get in a fight in school? If so, did you win? No, but my neighbor punched me in the face one time when I was in elementary school. I still have a scar. My mom was in the yard with me so I didn’t get to fight back. Damn it!

30. What gross smell do you secretly like? My own farts.

31. What talent do you wish you had? Playing the piano (thanks mom!)

32. Do you like your mother-in-law? I did. But she wasn’t my mother-in-law when I knew her.

33. What was your favorite subject in school? Science.

34. Do you have any phobias? No. But I can’t touch raw meat. It’s not that I’m scared of it but it’s just gross!

35. Have you had any interesting encounters with celebrities? I’ve met Keith Urban, Alan Jackson twice, seen Donna Summer driving, and at The Grand Ole Opry I met Dolly Parton, Lorreta Lynn, Roy Acuff (a bunch – he really liked my boyfriend who used to be a dancer on the Opry) Barbara Mandrell and a whole bunch of other famous people that I don’t remember.

36. What song makes you want to dance? You Can Call Me Al by Paul Simon

37. If you won the lottery, what is the first thing you would do? Buy property and build my dream house.

38. What’s your favorite thing about your spouse/significant other? He makes me smile and loves me unconditionally.

39. For $100 million, would you:
Eat 10 litter-covered cat terds? Ewww – I don’t know if I could but I’d sure try!
Throw up and eat it? I really don’t think I could do that but I’d try
Go to work naked for an entire day? Absolutely!

40. Something only you know about the person who sent this? I love it when she says, emphatically “Nu huh!!!”.

Sorry about the lack of blog posting. Will try to do better but I thought I’d mention a funny thing I heard yesterday…

I was in Staples (the office supply super store) and a guy behind the counter was rummaging around and asked another employee “Do we have a stapler?” I literally laughed out loud. The guy smiled and said, “I guess that does sound funny.”