A Rambling Ramble Post…

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There are several things that bother me and other things upon which I’ve pondered without success in figuring out why they are. So, I thought I’d post some here to see if I’m alone in my musings or if some of you share my confusions and/or aggravation…

#1) I hate stupid drivers. I don’t have road rage, however. I don’t start screaming and making veins pop out in my head or anything. But, often times, I can’t hold back my “dumbass” comments. Drivers particularly get on my nerves when they:

* don’t turn on their headlights when it’s freakin’ raining outside ( moron)
* don’t get out of the left lane even when there isn’t another car in sight for 20 miles but I’m trying to pass your stupid ass.
* don’t use your blinker – it isn’t optional ( idiot)
* don’t turn OFF your blinker ( idiot)
* don’t get out of the damn way of a fire truck and/or police car (asshat)
* don’t get in the turning lane until you’ve slowed to 5 freakin’ miles per hour (butthead)
* turn right from the far left lane (shitass)
I could go on but there are other items that annoy me like…

#2) People who use the phrase “you know” every 2nd bleepin’ word when they’re talking. I was watching Oprah yesterday who had a husband who had been physically abusive to his wife for 13 years and he kept saying “you know”. NO, I don’t know what it’s like to beat your wife so stop f’ing saying it!!! Rappers are particularly bad about this.

#3) Why don’t they call hamburgers “beefburgers”? They aren’t made of ham or even pork. This seems like a gross misrepresentation of what your product truly is. This could have dire consequences for certain Jewish people.

#4) Why do people misuse the word “literally”? People say, “Oh, I was laughing so hard I literally wet myself”. But they didn’t wet themselves. They just apparently don’t know what the word “literally” means. Be forewarned, if you say something like this to me – I will be calling you a dumbass. You may not be able to hear it as I will probably force myself to just say it in my head but, there’s no question, I will for damn sure be thinking it (dumbass).

#5) For years I wondered why men had nipples. They don’t need them so why have them? I’m happy to say that I did find the answer in a book by “The Straight Dope”. If you’ve never read “The Straight Dope” you must check out his website http://www.straightdope.com/ and/or some of his books and/or his column which runs in quite a few national newspapers. You will be smarter; I promise. And, he’s a hoot!

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4 responses »

  1. OKay, I have to ask – why do men have nipples? I took a gander at the website but couldn’t find that answer.

    Oh jeezus there are alot things that annoy me.

    * People who only tell their sad stories (or stupid tales) just for attention and sympathy.

    * People (mostly the kids) who cross the damn road without a)pressing the crosswalk button first and/or b)without first making sure the cars are actually going to STOP!

    * I too get really pissed at the people who drove too damn slow in the left lane. Get over idiots, I want by.

    * When someone *ahem*my RH*ahem* puts their dirty dishes on the counter on top of the dishwasher instead of just putting them inside it.

    * As mentioned before, salespeople who chat on the phone or to their co-workers while ringing me up (or instead of helping me out on the floor).

  2. Nipples are formed before the chromosome kicks in that determines the gender of the baby. That’s why everyone has them. Weird, huh?

  3. Tatrd: oh you hit all my sore points with drivers too. Everyone you mentioned drive me nuts. Two more – drivers who drive 10 KPH (or MPH) BELOW the speed limit. Why do they do that? And tailgaters. I hate tailgaters. The only time it’s acceptable is if I’m the one doing the tailgating because the driver ahead of me is driving 10 KPH (or MPH) BELOW the speed limit *g*

    As for language – the constant use of the word “like” by young people. Drives me nuts! And the scary thing is I know a few young teachers who do it too – and they are teachers – teaching young kids to do the same thing – so it will forever be in our everyday language.

  4. Kristie – I stumbled across a little trick for tailgaters… windhsield washer fluid. If you’re going above 20 mph and someone is too close to you, clean your winsheild. The overspray will get all over their windshield and about 85% of the time, they’ll back up. You’ll know you’ve hit them when you see their wipers come on (and it gives you a little thrill of satisfaction). If they don’t back off the the first time, do it a couple more times and they’ll get the point. Works like a charm!

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