There are several things that bother me and other things upon which I’ve pondered without success in figuring out why they are. So, I thought I’d post some here to see if I’m alone in my musings or if some of you share my confusions and/or aggravation…
#1) I hate stupid drivers. I don’t have road rage, however. I don’t start screaming and making veins pop out in my head or anything. But, often times, I can’t hold back my “dumbass” comments. Drivers particularly get on my nerves when they:
* don’t turn on their headlights when it’s freakin’ raining outside ( moron)
* don’t get out of the left lane even when there isn’t another car in sight for 20 miles but I’m trying to pass your stupid ass.
* don’t use your blinker – it isn’t optional ( idiot)
* don’t turn OFF your blinker ( idiot)
* don’t get out of the damn way of a fire truck and/or police car (asshat)
* don’t get in the turning lane until you’ve slowed to 5 freakin’ miles per hour (butthead)
* turn right from the far left lane (shitass)
I could go on but there are other items that annoy me like…
#2) People who use the phrase “you know” every 2nd bleepin’ word when they’re talking. I was watching Oprah yesterday who had a husband who had been physically abusive to his wife for 13 years and he kept saying “you know”. NO, I don’t know what it’s like to beat your wife so stop f’ing saying it!!! Rappers are particularly bad about this.
#3) Why don’t they call hamburgers “beefburgers”? They aren’t made of ham or even pork. This seems like a gross misrepresentation of what your product truly is. This could have dire consequences for certain Jewish people.
#4) Why do people misuse the word “literally”? People say, “Oh, I was laughing so hard I literally wet myself”. But they didn’t wet themselves. They just apparently don’t know what the word “literally” means. Be forewarned, if you say something like this to me – I will be calling you a dumbass. You may not be able to hear it as I will probably force myself to just say it in my head but, there’s no question, I will for damn sure be thinking it (dumbass).
#5) For years I wondered why men had nipples. They don’t need them so why have them? I’m happy to say that I did find the answer in a book by “The Straight Dope”. If you’ve never read “The Straight Dope” you must check out his website http://www.straightdope.com/ and/or some of his books and/or his column which runs in quite a few national newspapers. You will be smarter; I promise. And, he’s a hoot!