Big Misunderstandings


A huge part of almost every romance novel I read is based on a misunderstanding between the hero and heroine. As I reader I’m reading and shaking the book and yelling “Just tell him/her already”. If they’d just open their mouths everything would be solved. But if they did that there wouldn’t be much to the story so I understand the need of it. But geezue sometimes it drags on for way too long.

I was watching Grey’s Anatomy rerun last night – Christina doesn’t tell Burke she’s pregnant, Derek doesn’t tell Meredith he’s married (nor that he’s thinking of not signing the divorce papers) and Alex doesn’t tell Izzy that he’s failed his test. How many things are so misunderstood between all of them simply because they can’t be bothered to talk about it. (again, I understand – its part of the storyline)

But watching/reading these two bits made me wonder just how much is it like real life? We all keep secrets (except for me, I tell everyone everything I know) and it causes misunderstandings – but how much? To the same extent as these shows and books do?

My boyfriend is a prime example for this – he never tells me anything of what he’s thinking. Last year we’d had our trip to Ireland planned for about 5 months or so when all of a sudden he blurts out to me on the phone (of all places) while I’m at work that he doesn’t want to go – he’s never wanted to go. And I was shocked. Five months?? Why the hell couldn’t he talk that out with me in the beginning when I booked the tickets?

I have this ‘tone’, I guess, I don’t hear it but apparently everyone else around me does, that often gets misunderstood. My boss is constantly telling me “there’s that tone again” or they’ll think I meant something totally different from what I actually did mean. I often say things right out of my head without thinking, I think it sounds fine (thats b/c I know what I actually mean) but someone else takes complete offense to it.

And with today’s constant use of the internet, with all our online interactions tone is probably the most misunderstood. There’s no way to convey emotion or tone in a typed sentence and I find myself constantly putting a smiley or ‘LOL’ just so its understood I’m happily typing.

How much of our everyday life is actually a misunderstanding?


4 responses »

  1. I have these huge misunderstandings with my Drama Queen sister all the time, but for the most part, I’m like you. I say what I think. You won’t ever have to question where you’re at with me, because I’ll just flat out tell you.

    When MM and I first started dating, we made a rule: No secrets, no lies. Now, I still keep some things from him (not anything important, but little things, like when I buy tampons and such *rolls eyes*), but he’s taken this thing WAY TOO FAR! He tells me EVERYTHING (Do YOU want to know when your boyfriend picks his nose? Yeah, me either). I like it, and I don’t. Some thing I just don’t need to know.

    I’ve thought about this before, too, because in romance novels, the misunderstandings always seem so far fetched. Yes, you’re right, there wouldn’t be a story without them, but sheesh, do they have to go THAT Far?

    Great topic!

  2. LOL Holly! I didn’t want to know that MM picked his nose either.

    I try to be as honest as possible, but I know I’ve got a “tone” too.

  3. I don’t know if I have a tone or not, I don’t think I do but who knows…so did you end up going to Ireland?

    Ick Holly, I don’t want to know that, because now I’ll be wondering that the next I call and he answers…ICK!

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