Let me start off by saying that my husband and I are goofy. Like, silly, immature goofy. Last night we went to the grocery store and had the best time. I know that sounds dumb but here are some scenes of us in the grocery:
In the produce section Hubby says, “I bet you want 4 or 5 of those English Cucumbers again don’t you?”. I don’t even know what an English Cucumber is. For others who aren’t aware – they are the very large, long cucumbers. He pinches my bottom and walks toward the cucumbers. He walks by me again and pinches my boob. Not obviously but like he’s being sly or something to see how many times he can get away with it before someone notices.
We pass the candy isle and see a self-infating whoopie cushion. We are incapable of walking past this. We pick it up and continue to use it through out the store. We practice with long slow ones which hubby says “sound wet” and loud fast ones which hubby thinks is funny to do while he squats down a little. We master it so that I time the bursts with his footsteps as he walks passed people. We huddle at the end of an aisle, peak around and see a lone woman standing there, smash the cushion, giggle and run onto the next aisl. I have a realization that we’re very immature.
I let out a small belch. Hubby looks at me and says, “You just had gas out of your mouth.” I say I did not. He starts laughing and says I did so. He said it was just like a fart but it was out of my mouth instead so I must be a “mouth farter”. This proves to be an endless point of amusment for him. I think my husband is really 11 years old. I also feel compelled to point out that it didn’t smell which is really the most noxious part of farting to begin with but hubby does not concern himself with that trivial detail.
Now, all this occured withint the first 4 aisles or so of the store. The rest of our visit continued much the same. The bagger thought we were total dorks but we don’t care. We had fun.