I was going to entitle this post “The Bearded Lady” but that really isn’t accurate. The “mastachioed lady” would be accurate but this post isn’t about my mustache but my chin hairs…
A little background – I am a natural blond. It’s dark blond (with gray mixed in now) but it’s naturally blond. My mustache is blond. The hair on my arms is blond too. The weird thing is my eyebrows are dark brown. It makes me look like I really dye my hair but I don’t (I get it highlighted but have never dyed the whole thing – too chicken).
So, a couple years ago I’m plucking my eyebrows (which is a never ending battle against the uni-brow – horrible) and I notice a couple very coarse black hairs growing out of my chin. What the crap is this?!?!?! I ask myself. These are not just some random stray hairs – they were beard hairs. Very coarse and dark. I panic. I grab the tweezers and pluck them out. There’s like 5 of them. Egads!
Hopefully nobody has noticed them but me. I know hubby didn’t notice them because he would definitely say something. He wouldn’t want me running around with these rampant beard hairs hanging off myself. So he would tell me to save myself the embarassment of someone else noticing them. If my sister had noticed them – she would definitely say something. She spares not my feelings. I think she gets some twisted thrill out of it (and if you’re reading this Michelle you know I’m right).
So, I’ve plucked them out and feel an overwhelming sense of relief that this ordeal is over. They had probably been growing there for decades and I had just never noticed them. Good thing I won’t have to deal with them very often and I was rid of them now. Or so I thought.
About a month later, I’m rubbing my chin (very studious of me – I’m know) and I feel them again!!! ACK! NO! It can’t be! I can’t be turning into a wolly mammoth or something. I run to the bathroom and alas – they have returned. I yank them out again and now I know to be on the watch for them.
Yes, about a month later – they are back. But, they aren’t long enough to pluck. I watch them carefully and as soon as they are long enough to grab – I jerk them out. This has become my new routine. I can feel them starting to come in and sometimes I go into the bathroom 3 or 4 times in a day to try to get them out.
I HATE them! They’re horrible, awful, unsightly things. Could anything be less sexy and feminine? You never hear about women in romance novels having to deal with rogue chin hairs! I take little comfort in knowing I am not alone; most of the time it doesn’t make me feel better to know other women are out there fighting the “chin hair battle” with me. Really, it just pisses me off that there are women out there who aren’t battling this. Bitches. Wait until you hit your 30’s – they’re coming.