Part of the reason I’ve been absent is because I’ve had some “female trouble”. That once a month visitor has become a real witch lately and I have to have something done about it. I’ve decided to have an ablation procedure which is sort of like a permanent D&C. Basically they permanently remove the lining of the uterus (the endometrium). This means that there’s a 70% chance I won’t ever have a “monthly visitor” again. Let’s pray that I’m in that 70%!! We’re done having kids so I don’t need a uterus anymore but a hysterectomy is a little premature for my condition.
Anyway, I’m having my procedure done next week and I had to go yesterday to have some blood tests prior to surgery. I had an ER visit a couple weeks ago which led us to this point. When I was there, they tried to draw blood out of both my arms and both my hands and still couldn’t get anything out. We found out later that I had lost 3 pints of blood and that’s why they couldn’t get a blood sample – I was bone dry!! As I was lying on a gurney in the hallway of the waiting room at the ER and this guy comes up and says he has to get a blood sample. They’ve already tried everywhere that I know about so I say to Mr. Happy Needles, “I think I’m out of spots”. To which he replies, “No – there is one more spot and if I can’t get it from there you’re going straight to the OR because something is really wrong.” I have no idea where this magic place could be but he doesn’t leave me in suspense long. He explains that he’s going to draw blood out of my external JUGULAR VEIN!!! Yes, you heard me correctly. They had to draw blood out of my freakin’ neck. Actually, it was worse than that. They had to give me an IV port because they thought I may need fluids and perhaps even a blood transfusion. I didn’t know it at the time but my daughter told me it was gross because it moved when I talked. Yeah – fun, huh?
So, yesterday I have to go have blood drawn in preparation for my surgery. I’m probably using the word “surgery” loosely here. I’ve heard this procedure takes like 90 seconds and I won’t be put under. Hubby and I go into the office and the nurse gets the big case of needles and vials out. She tries my right arm, which is always the best place for me, and gets nothing. She apologizes and says she has to try another spot. I start to get nervous. I’ve been through this before and am NOT willing to go through that again. She looks at my other arm and doesn’t see any good spots. Bear in mind that less than 3 weeks ago I was down 3 pints of blood which is a little less than half the blood you have in your entire body. How much blood can you replace in three and a half weeks? Perhaps there isn’t much blood in there and my body has decided it needs to keep what little it has left and doesn’t want to give any to her! I try to remain calm and she starts investigating the backs of my hands. Did you know they can draw blood and give you an IV in the tops of your hands? Yep – trust me – it’s been a rough year and I know from experience that they can do both. So – she tries the top of my left hand. Success!!! I can’t tell you how excited I was that the little vial began to fill quickly. In case you’re wondering, YES it hurts more when they get blood out of your hands. There’s no muscle or anything but skin and bones and, apparently, veins in the top of your hands so there’s no cushion for anything else. It also leaves a knot and a big bruise most of the time. It is infinitely better than your NECK however!
Stay tuned. More random musings to come in the next couple days.