What Are You Doing In That Bathroom Stall???

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What in the world do women do when they go into the bathroom stalls? As a woman, you would think I’d know, right? Alas, I’m dumfounded. I have no clue what a woman does when she goes into a bathroom stall and there is not one single sound that emanates from the stall. Five minutes later the woman will emerge and I have to wonder – WHAT WAS SHE DOING IN THERE THAT LONG THAT WAS UTTERLY SILENT???

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gone into a ladies’ restroom and there was a line for the stalls. When it’s my turn, I go into the stall, do what needs to be done and emerge only to discover not one other person had exited a stall. The person who was behind me in line is still there waiting. If there is a line for the potty, I think you need to get right down to business (haha  – I crack myself up) and get out since there are other people waiting.

Even if there’s not someone waiting – WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU DOING IN THERE??? Are you doing your nails? Reading a book (ew – everyone knows that there are tiny particles of toilet water that are released into the air when you flush the toilet right? If you’re reading a book – do you know that it will be covered in toilet water after you flush? This may be a little OCD but it’s still icky)? Picking your nose? I just can’t figure out what you’re doing that makes absolutely no noise but you can sit in there for 5 minutes. I know 5 minutes doesn’t sound like a long time but in a bathroom stall – that’s an eternity not to make any noise!

Anyway, when I have to go – I go and get out. The bathroom is not some place I want to hang out. I get my business done, wash my hands and go. Apparently I can get all this accomplished really quick. Especially if we’re at the movie. It seems like I ALWAYS have to go when we go to the movie. It may be the 425 oz. soft drink that they charge you $9 to get but they suck you in because the large size has free refills. The chepo in me sees the value in this but I have the world’s smallest bladder so drinking that amount of soda, water, etc. is really really stupid. I will undoubtedly have to pee before the first hour of the movie is done. I trot up the aisle, down the hallway and run into the bathroom (I don’t want to miss the movie!), do my stuff, wash my hands and trot back. I think I can usually accomplish this in about 1 minute total time away from the movie. I even got back one time and Hubby asked, “Why didn’t you go?” to which I responded, “I did.” He looked at me incredulously and said, “No Way! You’re lying.” I really had gone. I think I should get some sort of prize 🙂

If you’re one of those ladies – please PLEASE post a comment and let us know what you’re doing in there. Pretty please?

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2 responses »

  1. I always feel the need to sniff, cough, rustle toilet paper…SOMETHING to break the silence. I’ve already told you about the lady in our office who sits silently, though the stench always reveals what she’s doing in there.

  2. Between your post and Kellilou’s comment I am dieing laughing over here. I am with you Tatrd and I certainly don’t get it either. Plus, I am a total germ-o-phobe, so the idea of being in there any longer than necessary just grosses me out completely.

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