Category Archives: Weirdness

I Got Stung!

Standard

Yesterday, for the first time in probably 15 years and likely only the 3rd time in my life, I got stung by a wasp. I admit – I said some dirty words. It hurt!  I mean HURT, like really really H-U-R-T!  Hence the reason I said some rather unladylike things. Then, an interesting series of things occurred on my arm where the sting happened:

* Almost immediately following the sting you couldn’t really see anything. Don’t get me wrong – there was pain but nothing outwardly to show the world that I deserved sympathy.

* About 10 minutes later I started to get a welp that grew to the size of a dime.

* 20 minutes in and the welp started to be surrounded by a small red blotch.

* About 45 minutes after getting stung, the welp was gone but the blotchy red patch increased to a strip about 6 inches long.  And the strip was hot and very sore to the touch. I took a picture on my phone and sent it to my entire family hoping to garner some sympathy. My family couldn’t have cared less. Apparently there needs to be the presence of blood for my family to give me any special attention. Cold-hearted heathens!

* About 2 hours later there was nothing. No indication whatsoever that I should be pampered and coddled. Well pooh. If you’re going to get injured at least you should be able to milk it for something, darn it!

* My arm was sore all evening but all looked perfectly normal.

* This morning when I awoke – almost 20 hours after I got stung – I had a red patch back on my arm. Not blotchy this time but slightly red. Oh – there was also one other small difference – it ITCHED LIKE ALL GET OUT!!!  I’m not severely allergic so yesterday when Hubby asked me if I had taken any Benadryl I said no, I didn’t think there was any need.   I’ve changed my mind. There’s definitely need. Any there’s also annoyance. Why would it be itchy almost 24 hours later??? I’ve decided it’s just to annoy me.

Jennifer

P.S. The song “Hot for Teacher” just came on the radio. I think it’s been 20 years since I’ve heard this song but I still vividly remember the video. Does that show my age?

New Recipe (for the dogs)

Standard

This may look like the beginning of another recipe post. There are ingredients above with which you are likely very familiar – KFC gravy and lunch meat for example. Looking past those – things may appear to diverge into the weird with things like fish oil and jack mackerel.

What you are seeing is not something I’m preparing for my lunch. It is for dinner, however. It’s the hullabaloo we have to go through to feed our three dogs. Each of them need something slightly different – “real meat” frozen kibble for the little one (in the small reusable container on the left), prescription intestinal diet canned dog food for the big one and puppy chow kibble for the middle dog. The big one also gets the fish oil (for her joints), the arthritis medication and the pain medication (which helps her get around in the winter).

You would think all of the above would be enticing to the dogs and they would come running to eat. On the contrary, apparently our dogs get bored and we have to change things up in order to keep their interest. That’s where the gravy and the canned fish come into play. If you’ve never had the pleasure (blech) of being confronted with jack mackerel in person, let me explain what it’s like. It’s sort of like tuna but funkier. They leave the fish in large chunks with part of the skin still on and the odor – oh my the odor! It will permeate the entire room and the refrigerator and anything else with which it may come into contact. The dogs LOVE it. However, they will eventually get bored with this combination as well. Therefore, we will often mix things up with eggs (raw and cooked), canned pumpkin (for the fiber), baby food and various left over meats that I bring home if we eat dinner out some place.

Doesn’t this look yummy?

 

Stupid Dog Shoes

Standard

No, this post isn’t about dogs so stupid that they require shoes.  It is about stupid looking dog shoes. Upon further thought, is there a possibility of a dog shoe that doesn’t look stupid? I digress…

We have a very old Golden Retriever. She has arthritis and has a hard time getting around on the floors in our house because they are slick and we have no carpet.  We really struggled with what to do about it until we found these gems:

 

They’re actually made for dogs to wear in the snow to protect the pads of their feet from de-icing agents and from snow getting packed into their paws. They’re made of this stuff that’s sort of like a wetsuit.

This is our dog wearing them and wondering why I’m taking her picture. They work GREAT! They give her traction on the floor to prevent falling and they enable her to get up from a laying position without help. Oh, and one more thing…

they look really stupid.

 

Fireplace Too Hot To Hang a TV?

Standard

How do you tell if it’s safe to hang a tv over your fireplace? Well, you could try doing this:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I will admit, I didn’t come up with the ingenious idea of hanging a thermometer over your fireplace (where the bottom of the tv will be) and then build a ROARING fire and see how hot the temperature actually gets. Make sure to let the coals get nice and hot as well – that raised the temperature way more than how big the flames got. And it took several hours to reach maximum heat so make sure you keep it going long enough to get an accurate read out.  Then, get the owner’s manual of the tv and look up the maximum safe operating temperature. If you’re under that, you’re golden! Well, that is if your wires will be exposed like ours will. If your wires will be hidden in the wall – I have no idea 🙂

Also, please check back over the next couple weeks.  There’s a MAJOR renovation project underway at my house and I’m taking before and after shots because you’ve got to see this one to believe it. We’re almost done so be sure to come back and check it out!

No more 60lb tumor?!?!

Standard

I think I’ve mentioned before my adoration, addiction, love, etc of the Discovery Health Channel. Their programming speaks to my idiosyncratic obscure mindset. I can’t tell you how many programs I have been sucked into watching and have come away with an awe of what people can live with and through. Some of the shows that have amazed me have been:

(apologies as I’m sure these are not the titles)…

Lady with the 60-lb tumor

Man with half a body

Lady with half a body who had a baby

Living with proteus syndrome

Intersexed (formerly hermaphroditism)

My unborn twin

Conjoined twins

Children with Progeria

Children who’s skin sloughs off

Mermaid Girl

Treeman

Paralyzed and pregnant

These are all stories of people who make the most out of life and keep their chin up and keep on living despite their prognosis. Shows like this make me so thankful for the healthy blessed life I’ve been given and makes you not take things for granted.

WELL…

The new Oprah Winfrey network (OWN) has taken over the Discovery Health Channel!!!! Aaarrrrgggg!!!!! What am I going to do without this programming? Nobody else carries stuff like this! Where will I get my obscure health anomaly education? I’m going to give OWN a chance and hope that they’re going to keep this amazing programming but I’m not holding my breath!

Jennifer

Thanksgiving “Schedule” – Awesome, Right?

Standard

I hosted Thanksgiving this year for a much smaller group than usual – only 8 people. There were no kids and no clumsy people so we even decided to use actual CHINA for a much more fancy dinner than we’ve ever done before. We rarely use our china so it was neat to have it all laid out with the stemware. The table was really lovely.  Although being the  total loser I am, I didn’t take a picture of it, so you’ll have to just take my word. Just imagine real cloth napkins, a lovely white tablecloth (made of actual cloth), matching flatware and we made place cards out of brightly colored leaves. The table was only decorated with candles so it was all very lovely.

Trying to avoid what my daughter so lovingly calls “Horrible Holiday Mom”, I wanted to be very organized this year and have a decisive plan. Hubby helped tremendously the day before and we cleaned the floors, cooked and even set the table all the day before. In an effort to make sure everyone knew what needed to be done when, I created this and posted it on the fridge:

This way,  Hubby and my daughter could look at the time and check the schedule and they could just start preparing the next item without any instructions from me. I prepared it the day before and proudly walked over to show it to Hubby who promptly exclaimed, “You are a big dork.”

So, what do you think? Amazingly awesomely organized or…  a huge nerd?

What Are You Doing In That Bathroom Stall???

Standard

What in the world do women do when they go into the bathroom stalls? As a woman, you would think I’d know, right? Alas, I’m dumfounded. I have no clue what a woman does when she goes into a bathroom stall and there is not one single sound that emanates from the stall. Five minutes later the woman will emerge and I have to wonder – WHAT WAS SHE DOING IN THERE THAT LONG THAT WAS UTTERLY SILENT???

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gone into a ladies’ restroom and there was a line for the stalls. When it’s my turn, I go into the stall, do what needs to be done and emerge only to discover not one other person had exited a stall. The person who was behind me in line is still there waiting. If there is a line for the potty, I think you need to get right down to business (haha  – I crack myself up) and get out since there are other people waiting.

Even if there’s not someone waiting – WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU DOING IN THERE??? Are you doing your nails? Reading a book (ew – everyone knows that there are tiny particles of toilet water that are released into the air when you flush the toilet right? If you’re reading a book – do you know that it will be covered in toilet water after you flush? This may be a little OCD but it’s still icky)? Picking your nose? I just can’t figure out what you’re doing that makes absolutely no noise but you can sit in there for 5 minutes. I know 5 minutes doesn’t sound like a long time but in a bathroom stall – that’s an eternity not to make any noise!

Anyway, when I have to go – I go and get out. The bathroom is not some place I want to hang out. I get my business done, wash my hands and go. Apparently I can get all this accomplished really quick. Especially if we’re at the movie. It seems like I ALWAYS have to go when we go to the movie. It may be the 425 oz. soft drink that they charge you $9 to get but they suck you in because the large size has free refills. The chepo in me sees the value in this but I have the world’s smallest bladder so drinking that amount of soda, water, etc. is really really stupid. I will undoubtedly have to pee before the first hour of the movie is done. I trot up the aisle, down the hallway and run into the bathroom (I don’t want to miss the movie!), do my stuff, wash my hands and trot back. I think I can usually accomplish this in about 1 minute total time away from the movie. I even got back one time and Hubby asked, “Why didn’t you go?” to which I responded, “I did.” He looked at me incredulously and said, “No Way! You’re lying.” I really had gone. I think I should get some sort of prize 🙂

If you’re one of those ladies – please PLEASE post a comment and let us know what you’re doing in there. Pretty please?